I'm Ok, You're Ok: A Practical Approach to Human Psychology

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Happy childhood” notwithstanding, says Harris, most of us are living out the not ok feelings of a defenseless child wholly dependent on ok others (parents) for stroking and caring. Part of growing up is learning to recognize the emotions of others by looking at their facial expressions. When we blame and find fault, we replay the early blaming and fault-finding which is recorded in the Parent, and this makes us feel ok, because the Parent is ok, and we are coming on Parent. I got the impression that many of these people left the theater wondering what was really going on, sure there must have been a message, but unable to find anything relevant to them or liberating in terms of how to end fun and games in their own lives. Dust Jackets are not guaranteed and when still present, they will have various degrees of tear and damage.

That stems from internal confidence and a higher self-esteem that allows them to show their true selves. Nevertheless, Harris asserts that both the former and the latter are 'recorded' in the child's memory in the same manner, as 'Parent' dictations, rather than actually understood concepts or philosophical precepts.

It is used by increasing numbers of therapists in marital counseling, treatment of adolescents and preadolescents, pastoral counseling, and family-centered obstetrical care, and in at least one institution for the mentally retarded, Laurel Hills of Sacramento. In the late 1960s, the book brought the groundbreaking Transactional Analysis of his mentor Eric Berne to the masses. Harris was a good friend of Eric Berne, founder of Transactional Analysis and author of the popular book “ Games People Play“.

After she described the feeling to me, I asked her if there was anything in her early life that this song reminded her of. More than 1,000 professionals have been trained in this method in the State of California, and this training is spreading rapidly to other parts of the country and to foreign countries. Albeit transaction analysis should be all about games, it’s simplistic in its approach that “I’m OK, You’re OK” people don’t play games.Albeit it doesn’t sound conservative as it’s highly critical of religion, a few passages are very conservative and judgmental. A 2004 essay in the New York Times on self-help books discusses I’m OK – You’re OK and Games People Play and how today’s self-help books pale in comparison. Readers who are looking for a book that explores why they have developed certain deep-seated beliefs about themselves and others and continue to repeat relationship mistakes would likely enjoy I’m OK-You’re OK.

The moment transaction analysis tried to shoehorn every behavior into its model, it became obvious that not everything fits into it. Though limiting and destructive, they were also a sort of comfort, absolving us of the need to really confront unresolved psychological issues. Preface In recent years there have been many reports of a growing impatience with psychiatry, with its seeming foreverness, its high cost, its debatable results, and its vague, esoteric terms. Maybe it’s a horribly regressive argument your mom used to drill into you about upholding female beauty standards, or maybe it’s your father berating you for crying and yelling at you to “act like a man. After the phenomenal success of Berne’s Games People Play in 1964, Harris published I’m OK – You’re OK in 1969, his guide to Transactional Analysis based upon the work of Dr.This was first discovered in 1951 by the Montreal brain surgeon Wilder Penfield, who stimulated certain parts of his patients’ brains with an electrode.

So when transactional analysts represented alcoholism as a “life script” for example, they only made themselves sound a bit ridiculous (see: rational wiki). Transaction analysis postulate there are three distinguishable modes within each one of us that we use to process information and respond to the stimuli around.

In July 1972 when the paperback book rights were finally sold, it broke a record, eclipsing the one set by Berne’s Games People Play. What I hope to demonstrate in this book is a new way to state old ideas and a clear way to present new ones, not as an inimical or deprecating assault on the work of the past, but rather as a means of meeting the undeniable evidence that the old methods do not seem to be working very well. One of the reasons why I’m not a big fan of relying too much on models to describe reality is that people often end up stretching reality just to fit into their model.